Dating a passive aggressive man
He may even say to himself, "I'm doing my best to be nice and agreeable, but she doesn't seem to get this.
She keeps getting on my case for doing things that upset her, but I don't have any idea what she's talking about." There is an unconscious part of him that is resentful and probably defiant.
But if my own experience with curly is any indication, the problem here is not the woman’s voice.
Jay Earley, Ph D If your husband or partner has the Passive-Aggressive Pattern, he tends to act in a way that looks as though he is agreeable and pleasing on the surface, but in the end his behavior hurts or frustrates you.
For example, you ask him to do something for the house that needs to happen by a certain date.
He agrees to do it, but then he forgets about it until after the date has passed, and you have to suffer the consequences.
You think you’re getting bored with each other, but really you’re getting bored because you are living without a purpose beyond yourselves.
Living to serve together makes for an exciting, fulfilling, meaningful existence because you’re moving forward and in the same direction.
He may only be aware of his surface desire to please you, and perhaps that he’s afraid of not pleasing you.
If you express your frustration with him, he may feel wronged.
Consciously, he really did forget, but unconsciously, his Passive-Aggressive Part did this on purpose to punish you for something you did that bothered him.
Another example: Walt is somewhat attracted to a woman at work.