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Not all comparisons are bad; they are simply an acknowledgement that something is different than something else.Most widow(er)s probably wouldn’t expect or want for you to be just like their late spouse, so there’s little use in wondering if you’ll “measure up”.Most people are very surprised to learn that adult stepfamilies, that is, those that are formed in the second-half of life and include adult stepchildren, have just as many transitions as stepfamilies with younger children.Some of the transitional issues are different, but many are the same.SEE ALSO: He Said-She Said: Talking About Remarriage As a new couple you must apply patience and understanding to these strong emotions. When confronted with difficult responses from adult children, assume a humble position and listen to their fears and concerns.Accept them where they are and try to be responsive to their needs for information (especially about financial matters), emotional contact, and time as they adjust to yet another family transition they didn’t seek out.

Everyone mourns differently, so widows/widowers must be careful not to let other people dictate the speed of their recovery.”“Too many variables to say what is right for anyone the old year thing is probably wise as a minimum. I didn’t quite make the 1 year wait to date thing…and I made a mess, I think I will use 5 years to remarry as a minimum.“This is variable, and having been married to a widower, been widowed and later marrying another widower as well as encountering several men on the widow/widower board, I have noticed that men seem to be ready earlier than women.Also, if the person was terminally ill and that illness took a long time to run it’s course, the widowed person may have done a lot of grieving prior to the actual occurrence of death and might be ready to date earlier than ‘the experts’ predict.For me, it was 18 months before I considered dating again.His oldest daughter cried loudly through the entire wedding ceremony.A few months later one of the children asked how my husband’s will was structured implying that I shouldn’t get anything.

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